When we see folks out and about or communicate via phone calls, emails or texts, this question frequently comes up: “Why haven’t you been blogging?” The short and simple answer: I’m getting old, tired, and busy just trying to fit into our schedules all those doctor visits, workouts at the fitness center (hopefully helping to cut down on doctor visits!) and just the everyday chores that take us longer to accomplish than in years past.
This morning I read a quote “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” When I shared it with Jerry, he readily agreed that forgiveness has probably been a key component in blessing our marriage of 58 years. Yes, on July 1 we celebrated 58 years of not always “bliss”. Like most couples that we know we have experienced many ups and downs and challenges in our almost 6 decades together. Thankfully, by the Grace of God AND Jerry having the patience of a saint, we are happier now than ever! Life for us is far from perfect, but it’s a beautiful blessing, and we are both very thankful for this season of our lives. Without rambling further on this subject, here is what I found online about the aforementioned quote:
We don’t really know who should be credited with this quote, but Ruth Bell Graham, wife to evangelist Billy Graham, once said, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. These words of wisdom are rooted in understanding God’s forgiveness of us and how we as Christians are to forgive others. Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave, and it is essential to understand everything and forgive everything. If you shut your door to all errors, truth will be shut out. A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers, and love endures, heals, and redeems.”
My closing thoughts: Forgiving a spouse, other family members, friend, or foe, has been an occasional challenge in my life. Again, let me stress it is only by the GRACE OF GOD and His mercy, that forgiveness has become so much easier in recent years. That’s not to say that old hurts or resentments never pop into my mind because sometimes they sadly do, but I find if I confess to God and ask for His help, it’s so freeing and healing to let go of those old, tiresome negative thoughts. It’s also helpful to share with close friends, using this guideline from Bible.com this statement: James 5:16 in the Bible instructs believers to ‘confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.’ This verse emphasizes the importance of mutual confession and prayer within the Christian community, suggesting that sharing struggles and seeking support from fellow believers can lead to healing and restoration.”
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Hope it is helpful or a blessing in some way. Would love comments. Feedback helps motivate me in many ways. To continue blogging or stop, that is one of the questions!
Good to read your blog. We continue to enjoy our home of 48 years in Omaha with an occasional memory of the 17 years when we expanded our life with a second home and new friends in Anthem. It was a good 17 years. We are currently enjoying a road trip to Yellowstone, Glacier,and Banff. We will even visit Theodore Roosevelt National Park in North Dakota on our way home. Our North Dakota visit will leave us with one state of the 50 yet to visit.
If you find time to return to Anthem for a visit, you are welcome to stay with us. We miss you!!!! We have such great memories of our times together!
I love this! Forgiveness has certainly been at the core of mine and Frank’s wonderful life together. Even after 53.5 years of marriage we continually find times/ situations that call us to forgive. I too have struggled with forgiveness of others, but I think the older I get the easier it gets. Great thoughts from you Char!
If we don’t forgive we are only hurting ourselves. None of us is perfect but we are all blessed. Thanks for a great column. Love reading it.
Thank you Auntie Char for this blog! I too have to forgive and let go of past hurts. It helps when I put Philippians 4:4-8 into practice.
Merrilee
Thanks. Very well said!
Great blog! You two are so wonderful and such a great testimony to the community around you! Love you! Kathleen
As usual, I enjoyed your blog. You’re ‘right on’ with your comments. Wish we could see you and Jerry again. This is the year for both Don and I to turn 80! Heaven is a welcome expectation. See you there-maybe soon/maybe later-but what a blessed Hope! (It’s been almost 51 years since we met at Pills when you were my roommate!)
As always I enjoyed reading your post. It’s very hard to love and forgive others at times. I’m such a hypocrite when I won’t forgive others for the same sin I am guilty of. Also, I think we need to be able to forgive ourselves instead of letting our past ruin our walk with Jesus. Hope to see you both someday soon.
Love this!! Thanks for posting!
Oh Char, how wonderful to read your blog again. My marriage to Pat was such a gift. We spoke often of how we treasured our partnership,the joyous times,and thechallenging ones , and also the times for forgiveness. Don’t know the attribution but I remember the message . If you don’t feel the need to forgive, I hope you never sin. I need to tell you, but having suffered a crushed L2 disc andhospitalized twice, wasn’t emotionally up to calling very many. I lost Pat to advanced Parkinsons on Jan 3 this year. He was terribly tired of struggle on so many fronts and I believe God stretched His hand and said “child, you have lived a life of generosity, learning and teaching,loving your neighbor,.. you are tired..come home. We had 28 grand years for which we were humbly grateful. Apologies for the missive, good to send my heart to you and Jerry. From ” older, shorter and slower, J
Great to hear your voice on the page, Charlotte. I don’t know if you remember me from years ago when you and Jerry hosted our group. I miss you all and to this day have still to find a home church again. Thank you for the precious memories. I love you.
Donna
Donna, of course we remember you and I was going to give you a call but don’t have any of your contact information. Please text me at 480-319-4400. Would love to catch up!
Thank you Charlotte for your wonderful ramblings! They get us all thinking! In Today’s Blog, the Lord again reminded me of my need to forgive and curb my critical spirit!
And I Love reading the responses! What a Blessing to have a response from a Niece who quotes from Scripture! I was also blessed by many others, like Judy who shared the loss of her husband into God’s merciful rest!
Yes, when we get to these later years, being tired is a much more regular occurrence! I’m having a struggle getting accustomed to it! However, the need to rely on God for His strength more often is a good thing!
Love the example of the greatest
aunt and Uncle ever.
My dear nephew! You may change your mind after you read the next blog I am thinking about writing. Hint: It’s about my new favorite dessert. Stay tuned for a heartfelt confession coming from your favorite (and sometimes crazy) aunt. xoxoxo
I agree with your blog entirely! Bob and I will be married for 63 years as of September 1st, and I have to say that my prayers, daily, definitely help! I have to say that I don’t like to say that we’re getting old, but, as long as we have each other, that’s what counts. Bob will turn 89 on July 28th, and I’ll be 85 on September 1st. Getting older is good when we have wonderful partners! Just stay well!
Thank you for this beautifully written blog. We all need to be reminded to forgive others. As life gets busy, we forget this healing act helps others and ourselves! Keith and I will be married 54 years this September. Yikes! It is wonderful to spend our retired years with kind, forgiving spouses as so many here have stated.